Bachelor Recap: A week of the Bachie flight finally stepping it up a gear or two… about time!

Photo: @hollykingston on Instagram

EPISODE NINE

This week’s Bachie flight took off with Holly’s single date. Jimmy took the frontrunner to the place he explored growing up; Sydney’s northern beaches. I’m jealous I didn’t grow up there, to be honest.

They went down to a creek, and Jimmy lifted Holly over rocks on the way down. I just wanted to let him know she has her own legs. But hey, maybe chivalry isn’t dead after all.

After Holly asked if they were going in the water, they stripped off (as if that wasn’t the plan all along), and were basically grinding on each other in the water.

That was all well and good, but they did this weird flirty talk thing as Jimmy went to give Holly a rose:

“What are you doing back there?” - Holly

“I’ve got a little thing called a rose” - Jimmy

After more giggling and cheesy back and forth I felt sick and yelled “just give her the rose already!”

So painful.

Sue is Steph’s downfall

Later, we were joined by Jimmy’s mum and bearer of good judgement, Sue. And boy, did she dish the tea.

All seemed to be going well, and all the women were getting along with Sue swimmingly.

Then Holly warned Sue about Steph, saying Steph acted differently with Jimmy as compared to her persona around the other women in the Mansion.

Naturally, Sue was suss. When she met Steph she gave her a grilling, and Steph really didn’t sell herself. She referred to her ex as the embodiment of what she wants in a partner. She also said she was only 75% invested in Jimmy.

Huh?

1+1 was not equalling 2 for Sue so she basically told Jimmy ‘Oi, mate, that Steph’s a dodgy unit’. She didn’t really, but you get my drift.

Although she did say Holly had great energy and Carlie would fit right into their family, so go gals!

“See ya dude”

Sue’s roast wasn’t the end of the drama for Steph that day. At the cocktail party, both Lily AND Tahnee told Jimmy that Steph still loves her ex and isn’t really in it to snag the Bach himself.

And Steph couldn’t talk her way out of it. Jimmy told the camera she should have gone a

“long time ago”. Ouch.

“I’m happy to leave,” Steph said after Jimmy suggested they call it a day.

At least she owned up to it and left on her own terms (kind of?).

I’m honestly going to miss Steph, the absolute icon that she is.

That wasn’t the only bomb dropped at the cocktail party. Tahnee let Jimmy know she overheard Jay (another frontrunner) saying she would rather come second than end up with Jimmy because the runner-up “does better” (in terms of Instagram fame etc…)

We all took a collective gasp… not the unsuspecting queen JAY!

The next episode came back-to-back, and it brought us to a glamping trip.

Lily chucked a Paris Hilton and brought a carry-on rolling luggage bag.

Then we were introduced to a body language and relationship expert, who seems to always pop up on the series and is always iconic.

Anyway, it led to a weird smelling sesh where each woman walked up to a blindfolded Jimmy and left their “odour print”. Ohh, those pheromones! Laura full-on jumped into Jimmy’s arms so he would catch her, which was very random, but also inspiring. This is how I will approach life from now on, thank you very much.

Intense eye contact followed, which even made me feel awks watching.

A cute campfire...with your seven girlfriends?

I mean, enjoyable for Jimmy, but a bit uncomfy for everyone else.

They sat around havin’ a giggle, then someone decided they should play Never Have I Ever. Needless to say, there were no more lols.

Jimmy asked the girls to drink if they thought anyone at the campfire was bullshitting him, which led to Tahnee taking a big old sip, staring at Jay and saying “in more ways than one”. Still cooling down from that burn.

Jay then asked if anyone in the group had made up an untrue rumour about another woman, looking straight at Tahnee.

You would have needed a knife to cut the tension.

Old town roadin’

To address the big old elephant in the room the only feasible option would be to dabble in a bit of horse riding (duh!), so Jay and Jimmy (cute alliteration I just realised) did a Billy Ray Cyrus and rode away from the others to discuss whether Jay really did say what Tahnee accused her of saying.

She flatly refused the idea that she mentioned anything about wanting to come second for the Insta clout because she’s just not like that.

Jimmy boy didn’t seem too convinced.

The storyline wouldn’t be complete without a bit of conflict between Jay and Tahnee. It was just their word against each other and we didn’t get any real closure on whether Jay DID say she was keen as a bean to get her Insta verified.

The suspense was real when Tahnee and Jay, women of the hour, were the last two standing at the rose ceremony. In the end, it was Jay who grabbed the last rose, leaving Tahnee to give Jimmy a quick peck, hug the gals, and hit the road. Leaving with a bang - we love your style, Tahnee.

EPISODE TEN

The Queen of poorly-timed decisions is crowned

After a controversial episode of Steph drama and Jay and Tahnee drama I was left assuming this week's store of antics had been exhausted, but nope, turns out things are just kicking into gear. Can I get an “ABOUT TIME!!”?

The episode started with an obstacle and Ash decided to point out it was a competition. I can’t help but wonder if she has missed the whole concept of the show she is on.

The inspo for this one comes from a clear need to weave in every bragging point Jimmy has. Jimmy has completed TWELVE triathlons, just in case you didn’t hear.

Along the course, the girls have to race to a red flag - a clear dig at why everyone is single in the first place, but hey, you have to laugh or you’ll cry right?

Jay continued to absolutely dominate all the girls, only to give her five-second advantage to Ash. Now I am not sure if Jay recalled she is on thin ice after the whole “I want to come second for the benefits” conversation but Jimmy clearly remembered it and it was…awkward.

Ash then took it all the way home and Jay followed in second and it was honestly the worst timing for her to prove herself innocent. Hope you are enjoying those benefits of second place, Jay.

Explaining one hour of alone time could do nothing for a relationship, the producers decided to provide a montage of Jimmy and Ash kissing over Jay speaking. And gosh, I love some good, sly editing.

Birthday Wish

Scoring her birthday wish, Carlie was whisked away for her special day and I can’t help but think they look like a perfect match.

I swear if Jimmy doesn’t pick “complete package”, non-complicated, loveable Carlie, I may just call for a refund.

Speaking of refund, Carlie should be asking Jimmy for one after this date. After designing a tattoo together (fake, don’t worry!) Jimmy then had the responsibility of drawing it on Carlie. And let’s just say, he ain’t no Picasso.

“Oh no, oh no.. oops”, yeah oops isn’t really what you should be saying when you brand someone for life, Jimmy.

Carlie asks for a refund on her birthday wish

If only Carlie could have seen into the future, we know she would have been making a swift re-wish if she knew how this cocktail party would turn out.

Jimmy was taken out of the cocktail party only to return with BROOKE. Yep, that’s right, the girl Jimmy proclaimed as his frontrunner is back.

You could tell all the girls would have taken an intruder any day of the week because wow, confidence is definitely Brooke’s FORTE.

First slap in the face - Brooke got a rose after the first chat.

Second slap in the face - Her smudged lipstick is a dead giveaway that some sneaky make-outs had been happening.

Third slap in the face - She informed the girls that Jimmy and herself have been talking heaps outside the mansion.

Fourth slap in the face - She decided to tell the girls Jimmy had given her the next one-on-one date. The FINAL one-on-one date.

Lily then left to cry. But flying in like the Superman he wishes he was, Jimmy consoled his girlfriend, who was upset because another one of his girlfriends had stolen all her time away with him. And they say romance is dead!

Laura was then sent home packing in the rose ceremony and I must admit, I will miss her quirkiness. It really grew on me in the end. ……. Next week Brooke comes soaring in quicker than a plane that just lost both wings, only to seemingly find herself planted right on the edge of the emergency exit seat.